Adventures of Frangipan

Saturday, 27 February 2010

Postgrad

I went up to Newcastle on Wednesday this week to the PG open day at Northumbria University. Four and a half hours on the train! Only two changes though so it wasn't that bad. Newcastle was cold and damp like most of the country. The city wasn't as big as I'd expected, not that I spent very long looking around it.

The uni seemed fine. It's a city campus, right on the edge of the main shopping street. There is a mix of old and new buildings, and it's really compact.

The open day stuff was good: I spoke to course people, sports, housing, etc. and I got the chance to meet the course director and ask questions. And after all that I left with very positive feelings, especially as they said I shouldn't have any problems being accepted if I meet the minimum requirements. It sounds like a fantastic jumping off point - just hope I can make the most of it. After all, this is what I want to do with my life, right?

Monday, 22 February 2010

Resolutions 2010 - so far...

Just a quick word about my 2010 resolutions. To recap:
  1. Straight edge
  2. Welsh
  3. More money to charity
  4. More time with friends
  5. Blog more
  6. Become vegan
  7. Reduce emissions
  8. Exercise more
  9. Become an activist
(Apparently I'm not that bothered about boys anymore?)

So the first 4 are still going well. I'm doing a Welsh exam this summer - eek! #5 is going alright. I don't have the motivation or discipline to blog as much as I'd like, but it is better than it used to be.

#6 got off to a slow start. I was ill for the first few weeks of the year and couldn't be bothered trying to deal with that and think about being vegan. Its been just over two weeks proper though and all going well. It requires more planning than I'm used to and shopping takes longer as I have to read all the labels. But I'm not starving as people expected!

I haven't really been actively pursuing #7 yet, but I have installed an energy monitor. I need to start #8 simply because I need to build my strength to vault and stop looking silly because I can't! And it would be nice to have the flat stomach in the photos from Cat's party for real!

My facebook page looked quite interesting yesterday: I went through my 'ethical' emails and signed up to a bunch of petitions and shared via facebook. So I guess that covers #9! I do want to blog about some of it too because just signing petitions makes me feel like a bit of a 'passive' activist.

The Boys thing... I think I need some ground rules more than anything. I'm not actively looking for a guy because I'm quite happy single. But I wouldn't turn offers down unless I had a bad feeling about the person asking. So...
  1. Fun on my terms
  2. Guys must be interested in more than how I look and able to comment on more
  3. No waiting around
  4. Get shot of him of he's not chasing me, because he would be if he was interested

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Saturday, 20 February 2010

Not that into me

I hate that I'm putting another post about boys on here - feels like it's turning into a self-obsessed woe-is-me blog - but my self-esteem is taking a bit of a knock and I'm hoping venting here will help.

I gave my number to a guy a month ago. I knew a few months before then that he liked me but it took him a while to tell me that. So we've texted a lot, he's taken me for a couple of drinks in the pub one night, and we had a fun night together at a mutual friend's birthday party last week. At no point has he said whether he's after a girlfriend or a bit of fun, but I haven't asked for it to cleared up either. And this week, I haven't heard for him for 3 days, then when I saw him out last night, he didn't seem particularly excited to see me or make any special effort to be around me.

My golden rule here is, if he isn't chasing me or doesn't seem excited about me, he isn't that interested and I should cut my losses. Which is exactly what I intend to do. So much of this has felt like a previous 'relationship' which I really got hurt by, so I'm getting out before it hurts that badly again. Trying harder just doesn't work!

And more fool him. As a friend said to me later last night, I'm a great package and shouldn't sell myself short in this small town. And he didn't even know what had happened - he was just being complimentary.

I'm angry with myself for caring, and as much as I know I shouldn't care and just move on, I want answers. I don't mean I'm going to confront him: just that it hurts to be rejected and it would be nice to know what it is about me that I can't even hold a guy's interest for longer than a month.

I have one friend who is desperately wanting to be in a relationship. I can't understand it. These past few weeks have brought out so many of my neuroses. I hate having my mood dependent on another person so much. Happy when he was texting or with me, sad or grumpy when he wasn't in contact, indecisive about whether I should contact him, unsure of what he wanted and not willing to ask for fear of scaring him off.

I don't want to believe that there's something wrong with me, but sometimes I can't help but think there must be.

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Saturday, 6 February 2010

Gathering Sheep




Photos from our day with the ponies gathering sheep on Penycloddiau, between Nannerch and Llangwyfan.

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